Gulp

I hardly chew my food. You might find me lecturing a little one, sometimes older ones too, on how masticating the food is so important to proper digestion. Turns out, I don’t practise what I preach.

Especially when I’m hungry. I wolf down the food like there’s no tomorrow. This, depite my conscious effort during the first three bites to chew. Slowly. (Three bites, n= 1423.) Tummy and mind can’t stay patient longer than that so it goes back to eye morsel greedily- scoop- deliver to mouth- chew twice- gulp. Repeat.

After the 1424^th time of gnashing my teeth in desperation for not putting them to more constructive use I delved into my past (yes, everything goes back to childhood. Don’t you watch Oprah?). For many years while in school, lunch used to be delivered. The break would last forty minutes. And I would always, always be the last to finish. The carrier aunty often moaned about how I chewed my food thirty two times before swallowing. (Imprinted into the sub-conscious no doubt.) She wasn’t the only one. I had a similar rep among family too. My aunts would goad my much younger cousins into finishing their food faster by saying, Now let’s see who finishes first..you or akka. Needless to say they won, always. Sometimes I’d be found chewing and seriously contemplating upon life’s complexities until the aunts finished feeding their food-fussy toddlers and their own meals.

Outings were always a source of worry to my mom. An evening outing slated for 5pm would mean that I start eating tiffin at 3.30pm and finish in an hour. I would often thanni kudichu muzhingify (gulp everything down with water). I saw it as a great time saving strategy although I failed to understand why my mom was never impressed with the idea.

A moment to reflect on the events in chronological order here- heavy-duty chewing (age from-whence-I-could-chew to 12) followed by water-aided gulping (age 12- 17) followed by normal gulping (age 17- now).

OK, this hasn’t helped as much as I thought it would. This going back in time exercise, I mean. Let me go meditate on it a bit more. (With images of food floating around in your head? No gulping afterward you mean? Fat chance. You’ll get hungry and greedy and do it all over again! Apparently that’s my sub-conscious trying to be helpful.) Meanwhile you tell me, are you a masticator or a gulper?