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Archive for November, 2013

On polyamory

In other words, open marriages. I used to think they were simply about having multiple partners, and mostly about sex (as opposed to committed relationships) but reading this article has made me change my mind a little- http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/26/open-marriage-_n_4345000.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592. (Do watch the video too.)

Michael is married to Kamala*. Michael’s girlfriend Rachael lives with them, and helps raise Michael and Kamala’s son. Kamala and Rachael have other partners as well, both male and female. In my books, it’d be just that- a piece of fiction. Or a badly-conceived reality show. In actuality, it works well for some.

I just wonder how they deal with it on a daily basis. I’d imagine feelings of jealousy, possessiveness, anger and resentment to be getting the better of the people involved and their ‘pod’, but they appear to not mind it at all. They, in fact, thrive on the presence of the other partners.

Me? I believe in monogamy**. Even if there were problems in my marriage. Even if me or my husband were unhappy with each other. Polyamory is most definitely ‘not my bag’. So, positing this as a possible solution to counter high divorce rates seems naive and misplaced. Is polyamory something that one acquires when in relationship trouble? Wouldn’t it be a natural trait? My personal belief is that whether humans are naturally polyamorous or not, it is not widely practised in order to avoid the anarchy that would ensue. Although this report suggests anything but. There’s the seed for multiple research projects right there– the concept is certainly food for thought. I especially like the emphasis on honesty and communication. I guess that is something we could all surely have more of.

What about you, dear readers? Are you monogamous by choice or conditioning? When you think open marriage, do you see yourself having one?

* I kept wondering who Kamala reminded me of- anyone else think she resembles Padma Lakshmi?

** I’m weirdly amused that I’m ruminating on this topic on the very day of my tenth wedding anniversary!

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Women’s organisations in Madras

Someone I know is going through a trying time and might possibly be headed towards a divorce. She needs professional help- would any of you happen to know of women’s organisations in Madras (Chennai) that deals with such issues? I’d greatly appreciate your input. Thank you.

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