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I can’t be CEO

Someone I know called me a career-oriented woman. Phbt and all that. Holding a job does not make one career-oriented, no?

P.S: It was meant as a barb, as in, ‘You’re a mom, and you still choose to continue to work, and leave your child at daycare, rather than stay at home and care for her yourself.’

P.P.S: If only employers acknowledged working moms, and gave us 2-, or 3-day work weeks with the option of working from home. Oh wait, they did and found that it came back to bite their backsides? Then again, my job precludes the option of working from home.

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(With due apologies to ‘marymary’ from Washington, DC, for appropriating her comment for the title of this post.)

 

Have you read the brilliant piece on how immersion blenders are dangerous kitchen weapons (http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/16/dining/immersion-blenders-can-be-a-danger-in-disguise.html?pagewanted=all&_r=1&)? Go read the comments. (You don’t really have to read through the article itself; although you should pontificate on ketchup’s right to masquerade as blood. When did balsamic vinegar or soy sauce become the new blood?!)

 

For having provided more than a few chuckles and many snorts, here’re some of my favourite comments-

 

Folks please, these things are dangerous!

I was giving myself a haircut with an immersion blender and lost over 70% of my left ear. And it’s not just me, my lawyer also says they are dangerous!

– BW

How about manufacturers put a simple deadman switch on it? Duh. Problem solved. 842 comments obviated. Foodie hipsters get to keep their fingers until the artisinal butchery class.
– Roy Zornow

What, no reports of severed tongue tips from licking the blades clean of cookie dough that doesn’t belong there anyway?!!!

– Kelly

I have to agree with everyone who loves immersion blenders and doesn’t stick their fingers in them. They’re great. Don’t stick your fingers in them.

Other places not to stick your fingers:
Food processors
Kettles
Sink disposal units
Fans
Tigers

– Joanna Rifkin

I’m confused why so many people are being injured by immersion blenders. I assume they are safe as long as you don’t stick your fingers anywhere near the blades (plugged in or not) and unplug before using anything else near the blades as well. This is safety common sense.

– MH

The President is set to announce a registry for immersion blender purchases.

– Bill H

And he’s ordered the NIH to conduct mental health checks on those who turned the immersion blender into a deadly weapon on themselves. .

– Eugene Gorrin

 

Thank you, you wonderfully snarky, sarcy, and plain confused commenters for generously dealing with my Monday morning.

Everyone’s dream

What’s every wannabe’s dream?

To appear on The Oprah Winfrey Show.

(But that’s so last millennium.)

To have a Wiki page dedicated to him/her.

Siri, who writes cookingwithsiri.com is organizing a fund drive for Vaidehi Ashram at Hyderabad. Please contribute to this cause. For details, visit http://www.cookingwithsiri.com/2012/01/fund-drive-for-vaidehi-ashram-of.html.

Husband’s list of vices

I’ve been thinking of doing this for the longest time. Here is the husband’s list of vices (compare and contrast).

1. He loves to shop. While I’m the one on a mission- list of things to buy –> find ’em –> pick ’em up –> pay and leave, he treats it more like a spa experience. (I’ve never had a spa experience. Apparently, it’s very relaxing, so I used it as a simile.)

2. He absolutely loves doing up the house. Most of our current decor are his picks, and he can be just as lavish on spending on the house as much as on his gadgets.

3. He loves a good gossip session with his parents. I learnt the finer points of tracing extended family members’ sometimes ulterior motives from him.

4. Loves to cook, but can get quite frazzled if weather doesn’t cooperate (he was meant to be born in an igloo, but considering it’s summer all-year where we live, this is usually the case).

5. Loves social gatherings as long as they are filled with people he can exchange highly aggressive, non-violent banter with.

6. Is the de facto menu planner for all our social gatherings.

7. Between the two of us, he’s more likely to say at bedtime, can we please chat for a while before falling asleep.

8. Is wonderfully thoughtful- loves, loves to surprise my mom (who loves surprises) with gifts and is usually the one to point me to something she’d love while the thought wouldn’t even have crossed my mind.

9. Is a scaredy cat when it comes to certain activities, like, jumping off into the water below with only a rope to secure you. To further his suspicion of said fun activity, someone got seriously injured while attempting to bungee jump at New Zealand last week.

10. As a kid, he went for vocal Carnatic lessons until he couldn’t take another student’s nasal renditions anymore (true story). He’s fussy, and a hypocrite- thinks boys trained in Bharatanatyam are sissies.

11. Wants our daughter to learn karate. Was earlier deathly opposed to her learning Carnatic music, but has changed his mind now seeing how much she loves music.

12. Does not watch sports of any kind. Laughs at the cricket/football fanatics.

13. Is often found hooked to cooking shows on TV.

But he is also addicted to news (reads it even on the potty), is very hands-on when dealing with electrical/plumbing issues at home, manages our finances and often makes me wonder what kind of life I’d be leading if I were married to a typical Indian MCP.

Happy new year, everyone! Live in sin.

Empty vessels on my mind

What is the most hated chore in your household? In ours, it’s the washing of vessels. Akshayapaatram goes literal when you’re the one doing the dishes.

Unless you are a dishwasher of the electrical kind. Right?

I need your help. People with dishwashers, could you please speak up? Tell me if you love your dishwasher and think it’s indispensable? Or, it’s simply not worth it since you got to rinse everything first anyway? I’ve heard such opposing views (especially with respect to Indian cooking) that I don’t know what to believe. Name-dropping of brands also welcome.

Thank you, thank you. You have no idea how grateful I am for your feedback. (Just take my word for it.)

On being plural

When I want to say something with reference to my brain, I always think in the plural.

My brains took a walk.

My brains are fried.

I need a new set of brains.

Why do we tend to do this? Is it because:

a) Human beings are arrogant.

b) I really do need brain in the plural.

c) Every other (outer) part of the body comes in pairs. (Even the nose, which is collective noun for a pair of nostrils.)

d) One is always in need of more closet space.

Anyone?

Anyone?